What is the thing you are most afraid of someone finding out? Maybe it’s a poor decision you made years ago. Maybe it’s a decision your child made. Maybe it’s an addiction you beat.
What if the thing you most want to forget about is the very thing that would most help others?
We would much rather keep the pain and embarrassment to ourselves but in the simple act of sharing our story we find healing for our soul. We weren’t rejected for not being perfect.
I’m not sure why we desire to perpetuate a myth of our perfection, but we all want people to think we have it together. We want people to think we’re the perfect mother, the perfect father, the perfect spouse, the perfect student…even though we know we’re not and no one else is either.
Despite that knowledge, we spend a lot of time trying to manufacture the appearance of perfection. We yearn for authenticity all while we feed the social media machine with staged snapshots of perfection.
Maybe we feel like we need to be perfect because the religious environment we grew up in was long on rules and short on grace. Interestingly, Jesus gave his sharpest criticisms to those who acted like and thought they had it all together.
I believe that if we could hear each other’s struggles we wouldn’t secretly feel like a failure. We would feel normal. The stories which have helped me the most aren’t stories of success but stories of setbacks and pain.
We find ourselves drawn to people who are vulnerable even for a moment. Yet we fear rejection if we do the same.
Your greatest help to others will be through the thing you least want to share. The thing you hope no one else finds out about may be your greatest contribution. Your successes are just that…yours. But your pain is something that we all can find common ground in. Your successes are what people will throw stones at, but your pain makes people embrace you. So why would we want to hide our pain and shout our victories?
The next time you feel moved by a story, see if what moves you was their vulnerability. If their authenticity helped you, what would your painful secret do for others? I think people would respect you more, not less, because they have a greater appreciation for what you’ve had to go through to get to where you are. They are encouraged that if you got through it they can too. If you could beat it, then maybe they can too.
What if your greatest inspiration to others isn’t something you accomplished but something you endured?
What if your greatest inspiration to others isn’t a goal you achieved but a battle you lost?
The irony is that the lowest moments in our journey have the most potential to lift others up on theirs.
What are you too embarrassed to talk about? A bankruptcy, an alcohol addiction, a wayward child, a divorce, an arrest, time in jail, something else?
Those painful experiences have the potential to be your greatest contribution to others. The only requirement is you have to be okay with people knowing you’re not perfect.
How serious are you about helping others?
(Want to know about a painful and embarrassing moment in my life? You can read it here.)
