Tis’ the season of love and Hallmark. Chances are pretty good that you’ll give a card, maybe candy, and if you really love them- flowers.
I know, I know….those gifts aren’t really the best expression or the only expression of love. But let’s assume you are going to give a card at least. Somewhere in that card it will probably say, “I love you!” But when you hand your significant other that perfect card will they actually believe what it says? If the card is going to be a tough sell the solution isn’t to avoid the card aisle altogether. The solution is earning the right to say those 3 powerful words-“I love you”-and be believed.
Love doesn’t have to be earned, but the right to tell someone that you love them is earned. Some of you are going to think about that one for awhile. You might even disagree with me, but at the very least…you understand that love isn’t a sentiment– it’s an action. Maybe it would be helpful to say that you have to earn the right to be believed when you say “I love you.“ If your actions don’t line up with your words, those words will have the opposite effect and push your loved one further away. Love demands authenticity.
Love is one of the hardest things we will ever do to another person consistently. We have a tendency to view love not as actions but as feelings toward someone. What we often mean when we say we love someone is–I like the way you make me feel. If the other person makes us feel great and encouraged, we love them. If not, we move on to someone who will. The tendency is to look at our relationships as what we get from them as opposed to what we can give.
The love we are required to have toward others has nothing to do with feelings, but instead everything to do with our actions. Don’t misunderstand me, love certainly produces feelings, but love itself is not a feeling…it is an action. If it wasn’t an action there would be no way Jesus could demand we love our neighbors and of all people–our enemies. You cannot produce feelings on cue, but you can act how love acts.
What are the actions of love? You can find a list to last a lifetime here: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
So who do you love? What have you done recently to earn the right to be believed when you say, “I love you”? What if you stopped obsessing about “the perfect card” and instead picked a decent one and spent the rest of this year making sure they believed what it said and believed you when you say, “I love you.”
