The Slushy Mess

The other morning I woke up to a couple extra inches of snow which isn’t unusual in New York. After I had finished clearing the snow, I asked my wife if she wanted to go for a walk around the block.

Fresh snowfalls are beautiful as they blanket the landscape with a sense of purity. The scene is something every Christmas card and movie tries to capture.

Snow typically doesn’t make me sentimental or romantic. In fact, it makes me pretty grumpy! But when it comes in March I know I’m on the winning side of winter. No matter how much it snows it won’t last long because spring is just around the corner.

We had a few moments to enjoy the beauty before it was time to head off for work. With this snowfall I had the feeling (or faith) this might just be our last walk through fresh snow for the winter.

As we were walking and talking I noticed that we both were looking at the road. Winter roads are the exact opposite of winter landscapes. The road is covered in slush and mud. Our entire reason for taking a walk was to enjoy the scenery around us, but we were missing it because we kept looking down. We both noticed it at the same time and started laughing.

It’s easy to miss the true beauty we know is all around us. The true beauty that comes from our children because we are so focused on work. The true beauty of the good things happening at work because we are too focused on that one unpleasable client. The true beauty of our lives because we are too busy scrolling through other people’s lives on Instagram.

You get to choose what you focus on.

It’s way easier for me to focus on all of the things I don’t like about snow and miss the beauty it creates all around me.

WHAT ARE YOU FOCUSING ON?

You can focus on the slushy mess at your job or you can lift your head a little higher and be thankful for all it has provided for you and your family.

You can focus on the things you don’t find appealing about your spouse or you can lift your gaze a little higher and focus on all the ways your life is so much better because of your years together.

You don’t have to look too hard to find things you don’t like…anywhere. The more you train your brain to look for the negative the more you’ll find. You actually aren’t finding “more” you are just limiting your focus.

If I just kept my gaze down I’d think the whole world was a muddy slushy mess.

You’ve probably experienced the same phenomenon right after you purchased a car. It felt like all of a sudden everyone in your community was driving the same car. Of course they weren’t but your brain was now limiting your focus to just that type of car.

Gossip works much the same way. Someone tells you something negative about someone else and from that point on your eyes are “opened.” No, you weren’t blind this whole time, you’ve now been conditioned to lower your focus while ignoring all of the beauty within and because of that person.

Once our focus gets fixed it can become the new normal. We just keep walking with our head down. We stop giving someone the benefit of the doubt. We look for the slushy mess and it begins to rewire our perspective about our job…spouse…kids…home…church…you name it.

Whatever you look at is what you’ll see.

I know…so profound! But sometimes the simplest things are the easiest to miss.

I wonder how many friendships have needlessly drifted apart because they only focused on the slushy mess. I wonder how many marriages ended because they couldn’t raise their gaze a little higher.

Maybe you think I’m encouraging you to stick your head in the sand and ignore problems. Of course not. But many times what we call problems are really just preferences. Ask yourself if what you are so worked up about isn’t really just a preference? If you are looking for perfect people, you will be a lonely person.

If you choose to focus on the beauty around you and within others you’ll begin to see more of it…because whatever you look at is what you’ll see. The beauty was always there, you were just looking down.