You know what a cycle is…it’s an event that keeps repeating itself.
Every new year we set out to break some of the cycles and habits that have us stuck. But even New Year’s resolutions have become a cycle. We make one. We are committed that this year will be different. But before the year is out and in most cases before the month is out we are back into that old cycle that seems to haunt us.
After a few cycles of New Year Resolutions with this cycle we so desperately want to change we just give up and think it will never get better.
“It’s just who I am. I’ll always be _____________.” When we start finding our identity in sinful patterns that’s a dangerous place to be.
You may not realize it yet, but your struggle isn’t just about you. It’s about future generations.
I believe that if you get serious about your hang-ups, about your sin cycle, you will change not only your life but the lives of your children and grandchildren.
Think about it for a moment…if you don’t deal with your weight issue, debt issue, anxiety, anger, depression, lust, insecurity…your kids are going to struggle with the exact same thing.
What will your kids struggle with because you didn’t break the cycle?
Scary!!!
If your kids are grown, what do they struggle with because you didn’t break the cycle?
I don’t want you to feel guilty I want you to feel responsible. If your kids are grown you can still be a testimony of God’s power in your life as you break your cycle. I believe that with God anything is possible.
If you aren’t convinced you’ll really pass your cycle on to your kids ask those with older children if it’s true.
Or you could just look at your own life. I bet that some of the things you struggle with your parents struggled with too or someone you looked up to in a parental way. If you struggle with weight good chances are one of your parents did too. If you’ve been divorced chances are your parents were. If debt is a challenge I bet your parents struggled with it. We could go down the list…anxiety…lust…insecurity…anger.
Why do these same struggles get passed down generationally?
Because you learned by watching them. They taught you…unintentionally…their poor habits. They taught you what to eat…how much to eat…how to cope with stress…how to respond when attacked…how to do marriage…how hard to work…how to parent…how to view God…how to view yourself.
So everything you struggle with right now doesn’t rest solely on your shoulders. (Just what you needed…one more thing to blame your parents for!)
What does rest on your shoulders are 2 things:
- What are you to do about it?
- Will your kids fight the same battles?
You have a choice…continue the cycle or break it.
You show love to thousands but bring the punishment for the parents’ sins into the laps of their children after them. Great and mighty God, whose name is the Lord Almighty. -Jeremiah 32:18 NIV
I love the part about God showing love to thousands and I wished the verse stopped right there. The rest is a sobering message.
Don’t misunderstand what Jeremiah is saying. God isn’t cursing one generation because of another generation. Instead it’s the consequences of the sin of one generation the next suffers from. It’s a harvest that was reaped from seeds that have been sown over decades. If you are honest with your self you’ve probably struggled with this for decades.
The NT talks of it in terms of sowing and reaping (Gal. 6:7-9). We normally think of sowing and reaping in our own lives but we often fail to see the generational connection we have with those who went before us and those who will come after us.
It’s humorous when the older generation complains about the younger generation. They act like they had nothing to do with it.
Now I’m not saying everything your parents gave you was bad…of course not. I learned lots of great things…I learned responsibility…I learned that if I wanted different results I had to do something different…I learned hard work…I learned to self-soothe.
My wife learned compassion from her family and she is passing that on to our kids. For example anytime someone says… “ouch” in our family because you stub your toe, pinch your finger, hit your head, get a paper cut, the kids immediately respond with… “Are you okay?” I didn’t exactly learn that. I was taught to self-soothe… “Don’t do that again and it won’t hurt.” “See that’s why you don’t run with scissors.” 😉
It’s one of the beautiful things about marriage…you can marry the best parts of your past together for an even brighter future. We can marry self-soothing with compassion. Of course that depends upon you recognizing which cycles need to be broken.
If we can bring the good that we learned from our families of origin we most certainly can bring the worst.
The choices you are making now…every day…in big and small things…are creating a cycle for your kids. One they can build on or one they will have to overcome.
Are you giving your kids something they can build on or something they will have to overcome?
If you went to church last week you are creating a positive cycle for your children. Some of you learned this from your parents. You put God first each week with your time and with your resources. You are generous because your parents were. It’s not hard for you to give back to God because your parents instilled this act of worship at a very young age.
Others of you already are a #cyclebreaker. You didn’t have a legacy of going to church every week. You didn’t grow up in a home with any type of serious faith. Now you’ve started a new cycle for generations to come.
We are a mix of good and bad cycles we were handed. Cycles happen automatically unless something intervenes to break it. So I’m not concerned about the good ones. I want you to think about the ones that will hurt you and your future generations because cycles aren’t just repeated they are multiplied.
We see this clearly in the life of King David.
He seemed to struggle with lust all the way back at the battle with Goliath. Three times he asked what he would get if he defeated Goliath and three times he heard maidens and money. Fast forward a few years and he essentially rapes Bathsheba and has her husband killed to cover it up. David has 7 wives and of course multiple children. His first son rapes his half-sister and David doesn’t do anything except get angry. His son, Absalom, kills this brother for raping their sister. David still does nothing. The story just keeps devolving until we get to Solomon who ends up with 700 wives and 300 concubines. Cycles aren’t just repeated they are multiplied.
So what’s your cycle?
Today you need to get honest with yourself and own your problem. Admit this is a family problem.
We have a family problem with lust…obesity…debt…divorce…relationships…anger…insecurity…depression…honesty…alcohol…greed…anxiety…leaving…
Commit today… “This is a cycle that ends with me. This will not be multiplied in the lives of those who follow after me. This will not be continued in a future ‘me’. Today through the power of the Holy Spirit living within me, I take responsibility for my life and the life of my children and grandchildren. I will not live in bondage anymore. I will live in the power of the resurrection and the hope that God makes all things new.”
