What was the last thing you did to grow? What was the last thing you did to help yourself get to the next level?
Was it a seminar you attended? Was it a special class your gym offered? Was it a book you read?
Our culture is obsessed with self-improvement. Our culture conditions us to keep striving for the next level. Onward and upward!
But when does self-improvement work against us? When does it stop being progress? When does self-help actually become self-harm?
Where is the line when growth in one area can cause decline in another, specifically in the most important areas of your life..the areas that provide you with meaning and make you the happiest…your family and friendships?
Here is the ironic thing…
The more we spend on self-improvement the less time we have for those we are improving ourselves for.
Time is a finite resource. It’s possible to spend so much time on personal growth that you cause relational decline.
What if all the self-help you’re chasing is really causing you self-harm in what makes you the happiest?
What if all the time you’re spending on learning how to get better is actually what’s keeping you from being better?
I don’t have time to read you a bedtime story because I’m trying to read a book on how to be a better parent.
I don’t have time to go out for breakfast with you because I’m trying to look good for you at the gym.
I don’t have time to invest in people because I need to listen to a podcast on how to be a better leader.
I don’t have time to connect with my friends because I’m trying to add value to all my ‘friends’ on social media.
Maybe our S.M.A.R.T goals aren’t really smart when we think about what we care about the most.
Maybe what we really want isn’t out there, but has been right beside us all along.
Maybe all this trying to get ahead is causing us to fall further behind in what matters most to us.
All the tools of self-improvement require time…podcasts, books, conferences, workshops, blogs, TED talks. Each one requires an allotment of your most precious and limited resource…TIME.
Guess what’s the number one ingredient in successful relationships? TIME.
Hmmm.
Am I telling you to stop reading books and going to the gym? Of course not. But I think it’s easy to take a good thing to an extreme.
-If going to the gym 3 days a week is helpful, imagine if I went every day.
-If reading 2 books a month is beneficial, imagine what a book a week would do.
-If playing on a sports team teaches discipline and teamwork, imagine what would happen if you played on 3 teams year-round.
A good thing can keep you from the best thing.
I’m not saying quit seeking wisdom. I’m not saying stop growing. I’m saying one shouldn’t destroy the other. Continue to grow, continue to be the best you that you can, but not at the price of what’s most important. Invest your time in what matters most.
