Have you ever been on the receiving end of grace? When you are it feels like a warm fire on a cold winter’s day.
If you have ever needed it and not received it you know it feels like someone turning their back on you while you’re drowning.
Grace is one of our most beloved values. You would be hard pressed to find someone who says they don’t believe grace is important or even central to our faith (Eph. 2:8-9). Almost every church lists grace as a value in one shape or another.
So why then do we stumble and struggle extending it when it is most needed?
I think it’s because grace is only needed when someone makes a mistake or sins and that makes things more complicated and messy than we want to deal with.
If you think you’ll only need to extend grace in situations that are neat and safe then you don’t really understand grace.
We all like being on the receiving end of grace, but we aren’t crazy about being on the giving end.
Because when we find ourselves in situations where we are on the giving end it means it will cost us something. Grace always costs someone something…money, pride, certainty, time…and there is always a risk.
So if you say you value grace it means you had better be willing to pay the price and embrace the mess.
How people respond when someone makes a mistake is the true test of a value like grace. Anyone can say they believe anything, but what makes it a value is when it is lived out even in the messiest of situations.
When you find yourself in a situation where you have to make a choice about whether to extend grace or not you can bet…
you might be misunderstood
you might be taken advantage of
you’re in uncharted territory
you’re going to lose certainty
you’re taking a risk
your plan just went out the window
But because of the mess people often choose fear over grace.
Why wouldn’t they? It’s easier to think of all kinds of safe and rational reasons why the “wise” thing to do is withdraw. In those moments grace doesn’t win, fear does.
Fear will keep you from all kinds of messy situations where grace is needed. Fear will keep you from people. Fear will keep you from making a difference.
You’ll be safe alright but you’ve just let everyone know what your true feelings are in regards to grace…it’s a nice value for the wall, but it doesn’t happen in these halls.
And since no one is perfect the piper will eventually come for you.
Grace isn’t based on how long you’ve known someone because grace isn’t earned. Grace is a gift. A gift the Good Samaritan gave to a stranger who had been robbed.
Grace means “unmerited favor.”
Unmerited as in you didn’t earn it or deserve it based on how long you’ve known someone or any other list created to qualify grace.
If it wasn’t messy, complicated, and painful you wouldn’t need grace to begin with. So if you value grace it means you’ll find yourself extending favor to people who don’t merit it. Much like Jesus did to you.
I was once asked, “What doctrine do you think needs more emphasis in churches today?” Without hesitation I believe the answer is…grace and love. Not because we don’t have them on a list somewhere, but because we struggle actually living them.
I saw this sign in an old mill and snapped a photo.
I stand in need of lots of grace. It’s one of the reasons I love the stories of the Bible so much. Most of the heroes of our faith needed and required lots of grace. So maybe there is hope for me.
When you think about it from our modern perspective and emphasis on perfection it’s really quite comical. Most of these men we hold up as heroes would never be able to pastor in most churches today because of their rap sheet, but God used them anyway.
Joseph…charged and convicted for sexual assault (Gen. 39). I can just hear the conversation now: “Joseph it says here you were convicted of sexual assault.” “I’m innocent. I was framed.” “But you served several years in prison. You were convicted of sexual assault.” “I really was trying to get away. I didn’t do it.” “Isn’t that what all guilty people say?”
Moses…committed murder (Exodus 2:11-15). “Moses I see you killed someone and the motive was anger.” “That was 40 years ago.” “How do we know you won’t lose your temper again in the future and kill someone here?”
Peter…assault with a deadly weapon (John 18:10). “Peter you cut a guy’s ear off with a sword!” “But Jesus fixed it. Good as new.” “But what are you going to do next time Jesus isn’t there to clean up your mess?”
Paul…an accessory to murder (Acts 8:1). “The record says you were a willing participant in the first martyr in the New Testament.” “That wasn’t me that was a guy named Saul.” “Did you really think changing your name would keep us from finding out? We do our homework.”
I could keep going, but you get the point.
At more than one moment in your life you’ll need to give grace and you’ll be afraid of all of the “what if’s.” What helps me in those moments is to remember one day I’ll stand before Jesus and I don’t want him to say, “With all of the grace I gave you why didn’t you extend more grace to others?”
At some point in your life you’ll be needing it too. Recently, I found myself in such a situation and the outpouring of grace I received was like Florida in February to my soul. Each person reminded me of different and messy situations where I had extended and modeled grace. It was one of those times you’re grateful that you ‘reap what you sow.’
People always remember whether grace was given or not.
Be like Jesus and give it…whether they have merited it or not. It’s never wise to withhold grace. You’re burning a bridge you’ll need in the future.
Embrace the mess and give up on the idea of safe grace. Our culture is thirsty for grace. May the first place they think of to find it be your church to drink deeply.
