Has it been a stressful year for you? This has been one of the strangest and most stressful years for me personally. Even more stressful than the year I started Northstar.
Anytime you go through something stressful you ask a lot of questions you wouldn’t normally think to ask.
You learn things about yourself and others. Some of those things you wish you could forget. You go deeper with some friends and others you lose.
One of the things I’ve learned this year is that no one goes through life without getting wounded in some way.
Maybe I should have seen this sooner or maybe it was a remnant from youthful naivety, but it’s crystal clear now. I knew we would get a few wounds through childhood, but adulthood? We have more control over our life as adults, right?
No one goes through their adult life without being wounded. No one escapes planet earth without some scars.
What type of scars am I talking about?
Miscarriage…divorce…disability…death of a loved one…cancer…disease…injury…chronic pain…diabetes…abuse…failure…depression…paralysis…skin disorder…betrayal…affair…abandonment…mental illness…bankruptcy…
I could keep listing scars, but you understand. Some are self-inflicted while others are undeserved.
Some of our scars come indirectly by helplessly watching those we love get one. Watching your spouse, your child, or your grandchild go through something on the above list is even more painful than if we were going through it ourselves. In fact, we would prefer to go through it if it meant we could save them the pain.
Scars of the soul touch us in a deep way. They shape our journey. They will make us bitter or better.
It’s not a message we hear often. Frankly, it’s pretty depressing!!!
So why bring up something we would much rather forget? I think it is worth remembering regularly for two reasons:
1. We’re more humble and understanding
When we remember our own scars it’s a lot harder to point fingers at others. We just don’t have the stomach for it.
People who have the audacity and like to accuse and spread gossip have forgotten their own self-inflicted scars. I’m always amazed at how people who have been forgiven of so much can turn around and act so self-righteous toward others. Jesus told a story about this with a frightening conclusion in Matthew 18:23-35.
We have a short memory.
If you find yourself wanting to let the world know how terrible and unworthy someone is you should take a trip down memory lane. We are all sinners.
The myth that we can escape this planet unscathed causes us to demand perfection from others. In the process we destroy so many good things. In the process we lose so many good things.
When we remember our own wounds it helps us humbly extend grace to others when they need it most.
2. We’re better prepared for the future
We can face the future with eyes-wide opened. Your scars are normative not exceptional. No one escapes without some scars. They are proof you lived on planet earth.
The devastating myth we’ve been sold is: “You can have a perfect life for all of your life.”
Every magazine and catalogue is selling you the perfect scar-free life…Pottery Barn, J.Crew, Cosmo. Even if you feel like it is unattainable at least you can see others live the unscathed life and dream about what it must be like.
The reality is that even the stars get scars.
The context through which you interpret your scars makes all the difference. Because of your scars you understand your faith a bit more. When our scriptures say we live on a broken planet it means something. When our scriptures say we are suffering from the effects of sin it means something. When it says we need a Savior, we have no doubt.
Our soul hears the echoes of Eden. Our heart longs for a place where there will be no more suffering, sorrow, or pain. But where did this longing come from if we’ve only known millennia of scars?
GOD.
The God who made a way to heal our scars through His scars.
That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever. -2 Corinthians 4:16-18
