The older you get the easier it is to say “no” to things you don’t want to do. When you were younger that wasn’t the case. You had to eat your vegetables, you had to go to school, you had to read, you had to meet new people. All of those “had to’s” were supposed to prepare you for adulthood with the hope they would eventually become “want to’s”. The challenge for most of us is that we weren’t internally motivated to complete those tasks, we instead were externally motivated by things like reward, positive affirmations or probably more likely punishment, guilt, and shame.
Because we never internally saw the value in those “had to’s,” now that we have moved past the stage of others programming our lives we exercise our “mature” voice and say “no”. Maybe the “no” isn’t even audible, but it is still as powerful. Frequently saying “no” to things you’re not comfortable with is keeping you stuck and average.
We say “no” in various socially acceptable ways like: That’s not for me, I’m not ready, I’m too busy, I’ve never liked…, I’m not a fan of…, Maybe later, or I’m not comfortable with that. When was the last time you used a phrase like that?
As a pastor I hear these socially acceptable “no’s” frequently: Church is not for me. I’m not ready to be baptized. I’m too busy to volunteer. I’ve never liked church asking for money (i.e. I want to be a taker and not a giver). Maybe later I’ll join a small group. I’m not comfortable singing. I’m not comfortable praying out loud. I’m not comfortable around large groups. I’m not comfortable around small groups. I’m not comfortable inviting a friend to church. I’m not comfortable sharing my faith.
If you can relate to one of those socially acceptable “no’s,” understand clearly that those excuses are keeping you stuck and average (at best), especially if you are a Christian. Why can I say that? Because…
GROWTH STARTS AT THE EDGE OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE.
Most adults are stuck in their comfort zone and have stopped growing because they keep saying “no” to things that are outside of what they are comfortable with. If you want to reach your God-given potential I guarantee you it will require you to do things outside of your comfort zone. God is stretching you for where He wants to use you in the future. If you resist that stretching, you won’t fit where he wants to use you. Scripture (Heb. 10:38, Rom. 1:17, Gal. 3:11, Hab. 2:4) tells us that “the just walk by faith” which means you’ll be doing a lot of things you aren’t comfortable with.
So anytime you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation there is a good chance God is wanting you to grow. Every time you resist the opportunity to grow it gets easier and easier to say “no”. I bet if you listened closely enough you can hear the cement dry on your potential as you consent to remain a prisoner to your comfort zone.
GROWTH STARTS AT THE EDGE OF YOUR EXPERIENCE.
What if the next time someone asked for a volunteer you raised your hand? What if you signed up for baptism? What if you lead your family in nightly prayer around your table? What if you actually prayed out loud with a friend? (I know that last one was WAY outside your comfort zone.) What if you agreed to give the presentation at work?
When my daughter was taking swim lessons at the age of 4 the instructor spent an entire class having the kids stick their face under water, an experience most young children resist even during bath time. The next class they progressed to sticking their entire head under water. By the end of the sessions the kids were jumping into the water. Each day built on the previous day’s experience AND took them beyond what they had experienced. My daughter has now progressed from acting like she was being water-boarded to being as comfortable underwater as a fish.
GROWTH STARTS AT THE EDGE OF YOUR UNDERSTANDING.
The interesting thing about growth moments is that they require you to reach for strength beyond yourself. You know you don’t have it in yourself so you reach out to God and lean on His strength. What might God want to do through you that He can’t because you keep saying “no”? God wants you to learn how big He really is. Your Christian faith is going to be boring and grow stale if you keep saying “that makes me uncomfortable.” Is it possible that the “no” you keep saying has nothing to do with comfort and everything to do with rebellion disguised in socially acceptable terms? How would God answer that question?
Growth starts at the edge of your comfort zone. So the real question is not “are you comfortable” with something, but whether you want to grow or stagnate. Don’t become a prisoner to your comfort zone. Set your potential free!
