What was your favorite birthday? Why was it your favorite birthday?
I recently was helping someone celebrate their birthday and he said that his favorite birthday was in 4thgrade. He said it snowed so much that day that everyone at the party went outside and built a giant dinosaur of snow.
My friend had celebrated over 40 birthdays and that one stood out above all the rest.
Some memories are like that. They tower above all the others. Those are the memories we cherish the most.
But what makes them more special than other memories? What made that particular birthday so much better than say the one that I was at?
The difference is trying a little bit harder and adding a little bit of novelty.
My friend’s birthday is in April and while it snows too much in New York a giant snow storm in April isn’t the norm and would put a damper on anyone’s Spring birthday. But his parents rallied and tried to make ice cream out of snow. They could have just made a snowman or had a snow ball fight, but they tried a little bit harder and added a little bit of novelty and voila you have an unforgettable birthday memory.
STUCK IN A RUT
It’s easy to get stuck in a rut. Date nights are always dinner (at the same place) and a movie. Vacations are always at the beach. You jog the same path every day. You watch the same shows on TV each night. Birthdays are celebrated the same way every year.
I’m not saying traditions aren’t important. You need traditions in your family. It gives them roots and an identity. Your family also needs stability so they can create friendships and plan for the future. Your brain craves routines and habits so it can focus energy elsewhere.
But our soul craves something else. Our soul desires adventure, spontaneity, and novelty.
It would be reckless to have a life only of those things. But I bet when you look back on your favorite memories they include those ingredients. You tried a little bit harder or broke out of your routine and it was a magical memory.
How much more did you enjoy a concert or a show because you had amazing seats? You tried a little harder, you paid a little more and it was unforgettable. You still say remember those seats we had at _______________ .
When I take my kids to the movies we usually share a popcorn and even share drinks. My kids recently went with their grandfather to the movies and he let them get whatever they wanted… and they didn’t have to share. He didn’t think they ordered enough so he also ordered nachos, ice cream, movie candies, the works. “One of everything, please.” He easily dropped a car payment that day at the movies. I took my kids to the dollar movies the other day and you know what they talked about…remember that time grandpa let us get as much and whatever we wanted.
I’m not saying it should be expensive to be memorable. My friend’s favorite birthday was a dinosaur made of free snow.
Think about it this way…If you are already reserving the time to celebrate a birthday, take a vacation, or have a family night why not spend a little more time or money to make it amazing!
What would it take for your next date night to be amazing?
What would it take for your next family dinner to be amazing?
What would it take for your next vacation to be amazing?
You can apply this question to anything.
What would it take for your next presentation to be amazing?
How many boring PowerPoint presentations have you sat through at work where someone just read their slides?
My family is nuts about Disney. Every vacation that’s the only place they want to go. I keep telling them that there are other amazing things to see and do in the world, but they don’t care. It’s all my wife’s fault.
Our first trip to the Happiest Place on Earth was truly magical. She had every ride, every meal, even every snack planned. She researched for an entire year and only picked the things she knew we each would love. It was an amazing vacation! She ruined us!
Sometimes I hear people say they went to Disney and had a terrible time. When I dig a little deeper what really happened is they just bought a ticket and showed up without any planning or research. We paid the same ticket price, but my wife did tons of research on how to make it amazing! I’ll never forget eating in the Castle with all the characters or meeting the talking Mickey with my family.
If you’re going to take the time off work, pay all that money, and make the effort to get to there why not do a little more work to ensure it’s a fantastic memory?
If you are going to celebrate someone’s birthday why not try a little bit harder?
If you are going on a date night why not throw in a little novelty?
If you are already going to the concert why not push for a little better seats?
People rarely ask the question, “How can I make this an amazing memory?” We just expect to show up and someone has done all of the work for us. Insert money and get an amazing experience. The truth is the ticket just gets you in the door. What you do with the opportunity will determine whether it’s memorable or not.
The only question most people seem to ask is in terms of cost. How much time will this cost? How much money will this cost? Important and practical questions. But when it comes to unforgettable memories we remember those things that were impractical. We remember the things that cost a little bit more. The things that took more time. The fact that someone went out of their way to make us feel special.
We have some dear friends that really excel at making us feel loved and special. The first time my family stayed at their home on our beds were towels with our name embroidered on them and a basket with all kinds of personal toiletry items and snacks.
Every time we stay with them they have very thoughtful gifts in our rooms. In the winter, warm socks. One time they even had a pair of Uggs for my wife. This year they mailed out Christmas gifts to our family in a giant red Santa’s bag that had “Lilly Family” embroidered on the outside. (No, you cannot have the name of our friends.)
They always try harder and infuse everything with novelty. They do this for all their friends and family. I’ve learned a lot about hospitality from these amazing friends.
When you look back at your favorite memories most of them are things that were going to happen anyway, but someone tried a little harder and added a dash of novelty and created an amazing memory for you.
At the end of life what you are going to treasure the most are your memories with your loved ones. Not your possessions.
What are you already doing this weekend that you could try a little harder to make it special?
